a cinematic salmagundi in which the hobbits and the Jedi (perhaps even with Jedi hobbits: someone out there has already beaten me to the idea) join forces on Deep Space Nine with James Bond, Dr. Who, Harry Potter, Mr. Tumble, the blokes who give the Royal Institute Lectures and the choir of King’s College, Cambridge in order to do battle with an evil alliance of hobbit Sith Lords, Predators, and assorted characters from BBC dramatisations of Jane Austen novels (each one of which has been, in my experience, a very worthy effort and fit for anything but watching) which is intent on destroying humanity’s profound relationship with that pinnacle of human achievement known as the Boost bar, with Mariah Carey singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ and Kimberley Walsh dancing a Charleston.
Please add your desired scenes so we can get this script moving (did I tell you I went to school with a bloke who has won an Oscar for a screenplay?).
I’d want to see the scene where Bond feeds the Murphmeister to the shark with a laser on its head. And the one where the Sith Lord climbs out of the Polly Toynbee costume. The adult version might include Emma (Keira Knightly of course) Does Emmerdale as a sub-plot.
Any more requests?