Apple growers face grim harvest with worst yield for 15 years
Apple growers, cider-makers and gardeners in despair as cold, rainy summer leaves orchards bare and threatens higher prices
For scrotes will still be able to get drunk on White Lightning because, get this, there are other parts of the world which have managed to produce apples this year.
If the localists, the locavores, ever manage to get their plans enacted such merriment among the underclass would have to cease every few years. Which would be a terrible burden upon the rest of us as God Knows what they’d be like if they were ever sober.