Just to infect them with malaria.
Today’s stupidity leads us to this page.
Homeopathy was used in the past to treat and prevent malaria but largely fell into disuse with the emerging dominance of the pharmaceutical industry. Today, people are taking a second look and finding that homeopathy is still useful in the fight against malaria. It is also safe, inexpensive, and free of parasite resistance.
No, we don’t have to kill them as they would kill others. Just infect them with malaria and watch them using their homeopathy to treat it.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Tim Newman // Jun 16, 2012 at 10:59 am
To be fair, we all justify drinking buckets of gin and tonic out here on the grounds that the quinine has anti-malarial properties. Maybe they’re just trying to get pissed without their wives complaining?
2 CJ Nerd // Jun 16, 2012 at 11:18 am
Did you hear the one about the homeopathy patient who forgot to take his medication?
He died of an overdose.
3 PaulB // Jun 16, 2012 at 11:22 am
Actually, it’s easy to prove that homeopathy works. Take a bucket of gin and tonic. Dilute it with water by a factor of 10^60. Take a flask of the resulting water and bang it ten times on the sofa. Put one drop from the flask on a cube of sugar, and allow to dry. Eat the sugar cube.
Provided you kept off the sauce while doing all this you’ll find that you’re stone cold sober. Proving that the homeopathic preparation does indeed produce the opposite effect to the original substance, just as the law of similarity predicts.
However, experiments using ethanol as the dilutant have been less conclusive. Further research is needed.
4 Stuck-Record // Jun 16, 2012 at 12:15 pm
If homeopathy are to be believed, drinking any glass of water, anywhere in the world will contain a water molecule that has been ‘altered’ (snort!).
Any disease is therefore curable from the tap and homeopaths are not needed at all. They must be thrilled to have done away with the need for their own profession.
5 bloke in spain // Jun 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Ah, but nature always provides the best remedies & preventatives.
For malaria it’s sickle cell anaemia……
6 john b // Jun 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm
“It is also safe, inexpensive, and free of parasite resistance.”
At least for “is non-iatrogenic” values of “safe, it’s hard to deny the points above are true.
7 PaulB // Jun 16, 2012 at 7:14 pm
It’s cheap for a drug. But eyewateringly expensive for a very small sugar lump. And parasites are wholly resistant to it.
8 blokeinfrance // Jun 16, 2012 at 9:49 pm
Yes we do. If I was Dante I would reserve a special circle in hell for them.
(Humour fail today, too busy to take the piss.)
9 Rob // Jun 16, 2012 at 10:03 pm
It is safe. It won’t cure malaria though, but the treatment is safe.
10 So Much For Subtlety // Jun 17, 2012 at 2:19 am
If you want to treat malaria in places that have malaria, I am not sure it is safe either. Unless you are using water that has been boiled or otherwise treated. Although I suppose they won’t do that as faeces containing cholera get so diluted by being dumped in the local river, that the river water itself must be a homeopathic treatment for cholera, right?
11 Jim // Jun 17, 2012 at 10:01 am
@SMFS: you forgot the crucial ‘putting it in a bottle and banging it against a piece of wood’ stage. Without that highly technical part of the process it won’t work silly!!!!!
12 Fred // Jun 17, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Did you hear that there was a leak at a homeopathy factory. The owners were terrified at the prospect that the solution may get into the sea!
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