“Ms Smith said she ‘mistakenly’ claimed for the TV package while billing for a web connection…”

Either she thinks cable television is free, or she is so torpid that even after the second house embarrassment it hasn’t occurred to her to think about her other claims. Always assuming she isn’t lying to us, of course.

“Downing Street said she had done the ‘right thing’ by quickly rectifying the ‘inadvertent mistake’.”

You know, like other people are allowed to when they take money that isn’t theirs.

“Ms Smith had not been at home when they were viewed and said she had no intention of resigning over the matter.”

Not when there are so many other things she could resign over.

Mr O’Donoghue said he was told Ms Smith had given her husband a ‘real ear-bashing’.

Why? He wasn’t claiming for his porn. Or is it because he watched porn and she disapproves, in which case, why is it our business?

“The claim was also said to include two viewings of the film Ocean’s 13 – at £3.75 each…”

Watching Ocean’s 13 twice is a sackable offence in itself.