Comments on: Blithering Idiots http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/ It is all obvious or trivial except... Wed, 23 May 2012 15:34:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: gene berman http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/comment-page-1/#comment-4251 gene berman Sun, 16 Dec 2007 15:18:56 +0000 http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/#comment-4251 Seems like time for my best lion joke. Actually, it's a tiger joke--but any excuse will do. Circus has had its lion-tamer killed by the lion and is auditioning prospective job-seekers. One experienced guy has just been unable to stay even a minute in the cage with the angry lion and been forced to withdraw ignominiously when a lady shows up in a flowing fur coat and asks to perform. "Go ahead, let's see your act." says the boss. She enters the cage and looks at the lion. The lion looks back at her, growling. She stands there as the lion advances slowly, still growling. Suddenly, she whips off the fur coat, revealing herself entirely naked--and of beautiful form. Slowly, the lion advances as she stands her ground. At each step forward, the growling diminishes audibly. Finally, he comes right up and begins licking hungrily at her nether region. The boss turns to the other lion tamer, asking him, "Could you do something anywhere near as spectacular?" The lion-tamer, thinking for a moment, says "Hell, yes. Get that damn lion out of there and just watch me!" Seems like time for my best lion joke. Actually, it’s a tiger joke–but any excuse will do.

Circus has had its lion-tamer killed by the lion and is auditioning prospective job-seekers. One experienced guy has just been unable to stay even a minute in the cage with the angry lion and been forced to withdraw ignominiously when a lady shows up in a flowing fur coat and asks to perform. “Go ahead, let’s see your act.” says the boss.

She enters the cage and looks at the lion. The lion looks back at her, growling. She stands there as the lion advances slowly, still growling. Suddenly, she whips off the fur coat, revealing herself entirely naked–and of beautiful form.

Slowly, the lion advances as she stands her ground. At each step forward, the growling diminishes audibly. Finally, he comes right up and begins licking hungrily at her nether region.

The boss turns to the other lion tamer, asking him, “Could you do something anywhere near as spectacular?”

The lion-tamer, thinking for a moment, says
“Hell, yes. Get that damn lion out of there and just watch me!”

]]> By: So Much For Subtlety http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/comment-page-1/#comment-4215 So Much For Subtlety Sun, 16 Dec 2007 07:42:00 +0000 http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/#comment-4215 Future archaeologists and historians may well mark this down as the final nail in the coffin for Western civilisation. Or Kaffirdom as it will probably be called by then. Not only do we too have out of control immigration (although they are not yet armed with much beyond suicide bomb belts) but we also have a strange ideology sapping the manly virtues of our forebears. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. Future archaeologists and historians may well mark this down as the final nail in the coffin for Western civilisation.

Or Kaffirdom as it will probably be called by then.

Not only do we too have out of control immigration (although they are not yet armed with much beyond suicide bomb belts) but we also have a strange ideology sapping the manly virtues of our forebears.

Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.

]]> By: steve http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/comment-page-1/#comment-4201 steve Sat, 15 Dec 2007 20:30:18 +0000 http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/#comment-4201 What no-one seems to have clued in on so far is that lions are not dogs. As anyone who has kept cats should know, toms have very discreet arrangements, and are, by the standards of willy-waving species like ours, woefully underendowed for their size. A lion's penis is normally entirely concealed, and even when erect, points downwards, and is about the size of my little finger. I think we should congratulate the move from heraldic maned greyhounds to something a little more zoologically correct. What no-one seems to have clued in on so far is that lions are not dogs.

As anyone who has kept cats should know, toms have very discreet arrangements, and are, by the standards of willy-waving species like ours, woefully underendowed for their size.

A lion’s penis is normally entirely concealed, and even when erect, points downwards, and is about the size of my little finger.

I think we should congratulate the move from heraldic maned greyhounds to something a little more zoologically correct.

]]> By: Jim Winfield http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/comment-page-1/#comment-4193 Jim Winfield Sat, 15 Dec 2007 17:35:07 +0000 http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/#comment-4193 The original article (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article3054270.ece) says that the castrated lion symbol was originally given only to traitors to the Crown. Apparently the English "3 lions" symbol is also castrated, though perhaps a bit sylised to be sure. Perfect for this government, of course. H/t to "An Englishman's castle" for the details. The original article (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article3054270.ece) says that the castrated lion symbol was originally given only to traitors to the Crown.
Apparently the English “3 lions” symbol is also castrated, though perhaps a bit sylised to be sure. Perfect for this government, of course.
H/t to “An Englishman’s castle” for the details.

]]> By: Surreptitious Evil http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/comment-page-1/#comment-4181 Surreptitious Evil Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:56:52 +0000 http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/#comment-4181 B*gger. The cite tags didn't work properly so I apologise for the Unglish above. B*gger. The cite tags didn’t work properly so I apologise for the Unglish above.

]]> By: Surreptitious Evil http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/comment-page-1/#comment-4180 Surreptitious Evil Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:55:21 +0000 http://timworstall.com/2007/12/15/blithering-idiots/#comment-4180 And the Times fail to point out that each country's heraldic rules are different ... A quick check of my bookshelves shows that Scotland's Heraldic Heritage that Alexander II's great seal shows the lion rampant sans pizzle and the three (you learn something every day - 2 from the Norman kings and one from the blazon of Eleanor of Acquitaine) lions passant guardant similarly ill equipped. Interestingly Stephen Friar's "Heraldry" shows a 1662 Charles II shield where the lion and unicorn supporters are very obviously male. And shouldn't a 'crack rapid reaction force' have actually gone somewhere, at some point to deserve the title? And the Times fail to point out that each country’s heraldic rules are different … A quick check of my bookshelves shows that Scotland’s Heraldic Heritage that Alexander II’s great seal shows the lion rampant sans pizzle and the three (you learn something every day – 2 from the Norman kings and one from the blazon of Eleanor of Acquitaine) lions passant guardant similarly ill equipped. Interestingly Stephen Friar’s “Heraldry” shows a 1662 Charles II shield where the lion and unicorn supporters are very obviously male.

And shouldn’t a ‘crack rapid reaction force’ have actually gone somewhere, at some point to deserve the title?

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